Ok, Whats Wrong With Love?

I have made many of the same mistakes. Most when intoxicated on cheap champagne and some sort of complicated lifestyle, that I have chosen to follow that week. Best bit of being awkward and youthful. But even I should have known by now, that this certain same mistake is painful and I probably should shudder at the thought and think against it next time. If you're under the impression that I'm alright lately. You'll probably never notice that I'm far from it.

It was a Saturday evening and I received a text message . "If I call for a lift soon will you pick me up" . I didn't think twice about this question, as it was from the lady who I will be thinking about, till the day my body drops and hits the floor. "and we can get take out and listen to death cab". So I did. I drove and met her at the shops. Her recent fad boyfriend escorted her to me. He made this clear he wasn't happy. She had lied to him and said I was upset and wanted to talk. He stood there, with his over sized head, awkwardly formed body and his single large eyebrow that stretched over his forehead, saying his goodbyes. I stood quiet and confident.

We attended a party and then decided to go get our takeout. She told me about her dreams of us. Of us. Yeah. Oh it was pleasant to my ears. At last shes realised. She was flirty and it was contagious. We decided to go to my house to watch a movie and listen to some good music. But unfortunately I am far from being a real gentleman. So when she was in my room flinging clothes off and proving that she can still be passionate towards me, things got more complicated.

I was'nt quite sure on her motives but cheating on him wasn't really the best way to show him you wanted to take your relationship to a new level. As apparently she does now. And now her emotions for me have changed directions once again. What once was us getting out of here and starting new, was now never there.

After a brief break up with her boyfriend they are now back together. Oh lady how you fake it. Are you really that desperate. To want what you have to be real? You don't really like that guy you are making out with, do you? Cause I can see right through you. And I can see that you have sold yourself short.

I wish I could take the pain out of love. But if I did that then maybe this love wouldn't exist. So next time she says she misses me, I have learnt she probably don't.

If You Love, you Lose (I loved and lost)

When she says "I miss you" shes drunk and confused. When I say it, I miss her more than you could have ever miss her or anything else. Memories of her lying on my chest and wanting to be there forever are long gone.

My lifes seems to be going pretty fast. I could possibly compare it to a rocket ship of late. Burning through that tough old atmosphere, through the stars, around that moon and then to return with a crash back down on earth. Hopefully i'll hit something pretty.

So much has happened since my last blog. I don't think I will have time to tell you all. So I will try and sum it up in a few sentences. This is where you will have to use your imagination of what happened.

Saw Bright eyes, got drunk. celebrated st patricks/Jamies Birthday , got drunk. Went to the new Danny Boyle Film, Premiere of Sunshine, got drunk. Played poker ,had a drinking competion. FAILED. This is the main stuff. All ends up with blurry eyes and the occasional lady.

Sorry, I haven't updated recently. I've been very busy it seems. Very creative stuff is going on.

We Rock The Party!

Are you ready for disorder and decay? Trying drinking cocktails with a middle aged drunk pulling on your tie and dragging your head down, ready to pounce. Planting pouting lips anywhere she can. We drank cocktails. Mine were mainly champagne based. I do love that drink. All night I had been recieving angry phone calls from a very arguemntive boyfriend.
"meet me at my road, in ten minutes. I'm going to kill you." Boring little fuck. I just passed the phone on to a friend and left them to argue. I heard "Yeah we fucked your bitch. Fucked her good." I walked off into the toilet where I struggled with stage fright. The guys behind me had noticed. So I made a joke about it. So I was teased for a little while. But all in good nature. It had all happened to them before. Cubicle was free so I dashed in. I really needed to go at this point. And there it came.

We later decided to grab a cab and head into the city. We headed towards Soho to attend a hair metal club. It was underground bar, which kind of reminded me of a cave. And didn't we rock the party. Lets just say we stood out. Which I didn't mind I was just up for a bit of fun. After my first drink, I introduced myself to the drummer of Dirty Cherry. I asked her straight off "when we were going to make out?" I didn't fail, lets put it that way. At this pointed I headed to bar. I tryed drag Mr K. for a jagermeister. But he was in full swing and busting out head nods. So I dragged The Griffbag instead. Down the hatch. YOW, thats better. Through to the quieter room we headed where we settled and barked out football songs. And didn't we rock the p-a-r-t-y . Yeah, we stood out. After a while we all had settled. The Griffbag was blurting out insults, to the people passing to the lady toilets. A lot more insults and a few more football chants later. It was time for the underground club to close. So me and Mr K. headed up to the toilets to realise some of our intake of booze we had devoured this evening. Their was only one cubicle, so Mr K. took that and I took the bin under the sink. He finished first and caught a glimpse. On the way out I got a shove off some long haired angry metal guy. The Dazzler had previously insulted him.

It was now near 4am. The Dazzler and Mr.K headed home and the rest of us were off to the south bank to attend a salsa bar. It was a nice little place. The people in it were friendly enough but I wouldn't like to cross them. We had a few more beers. One of us was asleep on the table. I was quite awake. So I managed to chuck back many more. We just sat talking and watching the dancers dance, till chucking out time. We grabbed our coats and set off to Euston to get the train home.

Now 6.30 am, we were waiting for the police. The Griffbag had got into a incident with two unfortunate ladies. They were "fat and stupid" just as The Griffbag had previously said. I called a "fag". But I just replied "no thanks. I'm ok." It was far to early to be started on by a scumbag in a cheap tracksuit. The Griffbag apoligised and we were free to get on the free coach home.

stranger then strangers

Stranger then strangers. Having a lady that is not constant on her feelings, is one of the worst feelings I have ever had.

Soon to Clicks Hisses and Complicated Kisses

Cocktail bars, metal clubs and salsa bars.x

Dying Batteries

I had a taste of the bitter pill as I watched Aresnal, who had the most shots and custody of the ball for most of the game, go out with a one a piece draw at the Emirates(still unbeaten). I will suffer a onslaught of taunts tomorrow.

So my sleeping pills got me off to sleep last night. But that did not last. An hour later thinking it would be morning, I looked up at my clock. Damn. Today was a overall pleasent day. Traffic was slow coming into work, but it looked like a nice day. I need to get some new shades for the summer.

After working for a few hours, a few peoples have made me want to stay at my job. But can I really take my notice. I'll have a word see what I can do. Sophie Berry came into day. She is a very, very odd girl. She just stood watching me for a while before saying a word. Last weekend, Sophie came in and onslaughted me with accusations of breaking her heart. Apparently she thought we had something going on. I have no idea where it came from. We hadn't kissed or anything. None of this was mentioned today. Actually not much was mentioned today.

When I got home I checked my messages. A few from her. All ended in question marks. I always seem to attract nuts. In school some girl called Mary carved into her arm my whole name. Is that sort of thing hot? I don't think I had ever said a word to her. ahwell. Then I was with a girl who made out with loads of guys so I, blew it off. Only to have her bite a hole in my back leaving me scarred. Loads of crazy phone calls later "why don't you love me" she said. YOU BIT A HOLE IN MY BACK. Blood everywhere. She punched me everytime she saw me around after that. I won't even start on Frostface. She was amazing in so many ways. But clearly unglued in places.

New whacko soon please.

New Addition to the Hip Kids.x
http://elle-o-ramma.livejournal.com/

Sleepeaze

What do you do if every day is turning into the same day? Quit your job and pop goes the routine.

Lots of things have happened lately. I got drunk in the bath on a bottle of wine and a flask of whiskey. Pissed off a band, because of a incident with a lady, who most likely wasn't worth it, in the back stage area. Gave the wave of "i'm doing fine" to the love of my life and her new, caterpillar eyebrowed boyfriend. When really I want to be chopped up into tiny little pieces. And played strip poker to the wee early hours.



Props go to Mr K, King of the Hip Kids. He said I should write a novel. Although I would never be able to keep it up.

damn sleepnig pilss worked to good.... night.xxxxxxxxxxx

Where theres a will, theres a way.

In my opinion one third of the town I live in should be in flames. Silly town and its silly ways.

I handed my notice in at work. I love my job, but its just time.x

Bottles and Bottles

"Good evening. What you doing in my bed."

Last night was Bobby Griffbags sisters birthday. So I got all dressed up. I looked sharp. I had a few beers and a hit flask. And I was off. I dropped Bobby and Jamie at the party. Then took the ol' car back home and started walking to the party with the crew. Necking beers, telling jokes and passing around a bottle of whiskey. The life.

Once at the party, the birthday girl looked stunning. I told her this. Her Dad bought me a drink. A pint. Looked around the party, thought about sex a bit. All pretty standard. Some young blond apparently digged me. I didn't really care though. I was too busy thinking "hey this finishes at 12, we need to get more booze". So we ran off and got some wine from sainsburys. Shouted at a baldy Secuity guard and checked out a hot cashier.

One quarter wasted. The party was getting better. People were getting tipsy and I had more nerve juice in me. The crew had stashed some booze outside. So every now and then we would sneak in a sip of whiskey. Yum. But after a while we got busted and it got put behind the bar. It burns to be broke and it hurts to be heartbroken. So I got on the phone to a young very good looking lady called Chrissie. With the best body I have ever been in. I told her to come down and she did.

Half Wasted. Party was near over and some guys didn't like the look of me. As per usual, the idiot crew. "we like drinking wkds and getting in fights". Nothing happened. Just sly comments. I hit the dance floor. Thats when I know on my way. Poorly and bluntly hit on some doll. Then went and talked to chrissie. Forced back more drinks. Woah

Three Quarters wasted. Party was over. Bobby, Chrissie and Jamie got a lift back to Jamies for the after party. We got into a small fight with some guy with crutches. Who was fighting his other mates. Broke a bottle of whiskey damn. I bundled in a car and got a lift to Jamies. Dazza and the rest of the crew got a taxi.

Fully Wasted. Oh my word. Off came the clothes. After a failed attempt of a threesome with Bobby and Chrissie, I went upstairs and passed out in some bed. "Good evening. What you doing in my bed." You soon I thought. Unfortunatley it was just a thought. As I was to drunk for sex. But I got a pretty good hand job and rolled over and passed out.

I woke up and grabbed a bottle of wine. It was 9 AM. Rolled into where Chrissie and Bobby was sleeping. The door was off the hinges. I sang them a song to get them up. Oh my Chrissie is hot. I jumped into bed with them. Pushed Bobby out and lay with that hot piece for a while, sipping red wine. Dazza was still here yay. Him and Jamie joined us. And I was drunk again at 10pm. A couple of bottles of red wine for breakfast. Oh my Chrissie is hot. The colour of my teeth . matched the colour of my tongue. Oh my Chrissie is hot. Just wearing a pair of french knickers and a top. Oh my Chrissie is hot. I spilt red wine down my bare chest. What a mess I am. A sexy mess though.

It's a Curse

"This is the happiest I have felt with someone for a long time." She said. Long pause.
"I'm not doing this to be a bitch."
"Ok." Funny I didn't believe her.

Oh, look at those lovers. It's not only going to be just a kiss. As this ponders on my mind, I realise that I will not sleep tonight, no sleep, no sleep, not till its light. I need someone elses heart. This ones on fire.

In and Out and Over

I awakened in a bed next to Bobby Griffbag. "So it happened, again?" said I. "Yep". Picked myself up grabbed my shoes and headed down stairs. This is the bit where I piece it all together.

The phone rang again. "You going to that party?".
"I heard about it. Sounds shit and I kind of got other plans"
"oh come be fun."
"ok for a little while then."

So got Dazza then went to the party on the hill. Soon as we got to the hill we could tell which one was the party. Parked the car and walked over to the house. Screaming and shouting everywhere we bundled through the door. Drunken teens everywhere. It was a sea of cliches. Long side parted hair, ear tunnels, tight black shirts and worn blue jeans. Boring, this is going to be a substandard party.
Luke was in the garden , but we had to avoid seeing some guy, cause I had mutilated his house bit. So went back out the front door and through the gate to the garden. Once in the garden, the party host announced that the party was over. Some girl had been bottled round the face. So Dazza poached some beer and we were off, to the orignal party that I had planned.

We was now at Jambos party and we had bought a few friends with us. Champagne time I feel. Dazza had been wonderful and supplied me with the good stuff. Whiskey, white wine, red wine, champagne and beer. I love champagne. Soon as it touches my tongue, it makes me feel charged.
My plan tonight was to get liqoured up. And by god had I achieved it now. I was in the bathroom with a young brunette, who I had apparently been with before.
"Your tongues cold. Last time I kissed you it was"
" No its not. I'll prove it. "
At it again. If only I could take you through this story more clearly. After a while, I was done with this lady of pleasure. I went downstairs and headed into a another room.
"Dan take off your clothes and me and lexie will have a threesome with you."
Off came the shirt. Then I paused. Thought wait a second. Then after thinking, I realised my trousers were off . She had continued to take off the rest of my clothes.
Off I ran through the house. Just in my underwear. I polished off a bottle of wine and fell up the stairs.

I awakened in a bed next to Bobby Griffbag.

Did I Ever Tell You?

I'm waiting for a some make up sex and another fresh start. Perhaps one day we can....? Nevermind.

Tonight I am laying in a guillotine. I haven't even missed a breath waiting for the suspended heavy blade. I tryed my hardest to cry but it wouldn't come. "Lie still and close your eyes" I hear them bark. I'm too proud to close my eyes and I will not be kicking and screaming. Screeeech!

Chop.

Strange few days. Monday, I was in Town, sucking on cheap alcopops, to get me into a better state of mind. Good job it doesn't take many. Few hours pass, my hips have done enough grinding and my train is soon. I fumble down to the train station with a few that I know are coming back my way. We had missed the last train. "Taxi".

Don't know how it happend, but I ended up in bed, holding hands and kissing a young lady with a certain appeal. She was a good kisser but her lips were dry. Probally because of the alcohol we had both consumed. We layed together for a few hours, till I decided she was in my way and I didn't feel comfortable no longer. I took her home and regretted, not giving her a goodbye kiss.

It was now 6am and I had work in an hour. I'm not going. I lay in bed watching the ceiling spin until I fell asleep, only to wake up a few seconds later to call in sick. I did nothing for the rest of the day. Just lay there. I felt uncomfortable. So I took all my clothes off.

Then today was harder. I didn't want to leave my bed. Then after I did, I found out the road was slippery. So I dreamnt about driving into oncoming cars or wrecking myself into a lamp posts. Finally got to work and my day got better. I didnt eat much. I just wanted to go home. So I rushed through most of the day and bunked the last hour in starbucks with the hip kids. I then felt like getting wrecked. I brought this up in the conversation. Got out of work quick. Drove as fast as possible home.

Later that night. I watched the Arsenal game. Which we won. Then got a phone call. Bad news. Go fetch the knife I won't be needing one of my organs no more.

Raise Your Drink High

It could have been worst. Sipping cranberry juice, lamb in the slow cooker and plenty of 90s science fiction television shows, to take me through to wednesday. But instead, I went into town.

At first I expected a brawl. Guys running out of shops, with staplers to beat me down to a bloody pulp. I was told a rumour today that I was to be found, chucked into a white van and have my knee caps dealt with. Of course I laughed at this. But it had put me a little bit on edge. You see, in my previous adventures, I have drank champagne and indulged into breaking a few things before being escorted to a car and taken home in MI5 fashion. So i can understand, why i have made a few enemies. But I have made many more allies. Which is so odd. I have a small cult, ready to break stuff, on my command.

Then I got my swagger on. Walked through the town like it was my castle. Yeah I had found my crown. The King has returned. "Bring me the finest wine in the land. No one is getting sober till its all devoured. You hear me!" I walked around greeted some of the finest folk in the land.

So then I went shopping. Or the lack of. Couldn't see a single garment. I wondered round talking to the nifty sales lady for a while before leaving.

Then it happened. Who was it, but the fair maiden. A quick awkward conversation, made me realise that my throne was no more. I was on my knees and before long, I took off my crown and gave it to her. I offered her my sword to do as she wish. But luckily I was spared. Don't worry the conversation got better and before long she abdicated. I had remembered. She is with a jester and has no real power in my Kingdom. "Off with her head". I snatched my crown back and left with my head high. "Fetch me my horse." Over the hill I rode...

The End

Medicine Makes Friends

Medicine makes friends. It's so interesting to find out two guys sharing their problems could be the start of a fantastic relationship. Guess liking the same little skirt, could be a problem. What a messed up world this is. I sat here for hours, with a kind of comfort. He had failed. Although I know what that tootsie is like. Confused, very foolish and hopeless. It's nice to found out she still talks about me. Even if its a barrage of curses. Love never hurt us. Just tore us apart.

I've been so confused lately that I barely know my own needs and wants. I have woke up, with countless numbers of the fairer sex and none of them matter when they are laying next to me. Well maybe a couple."NO MORE" I scream inside. I make out they are painkillers. But lately my painkillers have been making the pain worse.

Raise your hands if you want to go on a liquor run. I wish I had more hands. Damn, I need a clumsy, young and awkward lover tonight.

Burning In Water, Drowning In Flames

I pulled myself out from underneath the water. I had been under for quite some time, just pretending to drown. Grabbed a towel, walked over to the mirror and rubbed off the remains of the dryed red wine on my lips. So whos that haggered guy over there? Oh, thats a mirror.
Who am I kidding i've never looked so good.

So then I grabbed my pants off the floor and walked into my stinky love nest. Looked at a video on my camera. It was a friend urinating on my car, from last night.

"we need to get some" person a

*pause*

"bitches and hoes, bitches and hoes" person b

"I was going to say beers." person a

Then paranoia kicked in and I wondered if she had kept her knickers above her ankles last night. She was a great kisser, a great dancer and I actually enjoyed her company. Its a shame she wasn't at all that great of a girlfriend.

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